Dung Beetles

I was camping out on a long weekend of hunting season and after a few days of cheap beer, home made hot sausage, eggs fried in bacon grease and more cheap beers, nature called.

I made my way down out of the tree stand and hurriedly walked/ran as best I could while pulling the puckering string as tight as I could for as far as I could, didn’t want to go so close to the tree stand and scare the deer away.

I’m about to bust as I struggle to get out of my camouflage overalls and long underwear and I just get into a squat when the first burst of hot liquid gas breaks the early morning silence. The smell traveled almost as fast as the sound as I heard the distinct deep buzzing sound of a large insect in the near distance.

As my bowels continued to move and emit noxious gasses I heard even more deep buzzing sounds as they seemed to be honing in on my location and sure enough a large bug was heading straight for me and I was in no position to defend myself without losing my balance so I squinted up my face and braced for impact.

At the last second it dives straight down between my legs and happily digs into the pile. As I add to the pile more beetles come buzzing in from every direction, it was like real life surround sound, straight into my now dwindling pile.

Before I got done with the “paperwork“ those efficient wonders of nature had rolled away with my entire pile. There was nothing left of it to bury in the ground.

I like to think that at least a few baby beetles survived to reproduce without passing along any genetic damage from all the preservatives, hormones, antibiotics, steroids and alcohol in my diet.

Peace and Love!