The Good Health Clinic

The Good Health Clinic has been my primary health advocate for a number of years now. I am one of the pathetically uninsured that exist in the upper Keys. They help fill the cracks of an imperfect system.    

They have come to my rescue when I was unable to work. They connected me with MCVI (Miami cardiovascular Institute) who performed two ablation procedures. And it's much more than just the procedures. It's all the echocardiograms, blood work ups, MRI’s and what not as well, pre-and post operation.

They also helped set me up with the super expensive blood thinners, they were able to figure out the paperwork to get the medicine through the drug companies “broke motherfuckers outreach program.” There's a nicer name for it than that but I can't come up with it right now…

Luckily for me, the community stepped up and helped me through that downtime because I was unable to work. And in this world, all we have are each other. I was a recipient a few years back of some of the money's raised at the Witches Ride event held up here in Key Largo.

Over all the years of humping gear, load ins and load outs, motorcycle and car crashes; my back just ain't what it used to be. For me, it's almost as bad as having a music stand (iPad) on stage to sit down and play (unless you're performing classical music which is a completely different beast than what I do).

At any rate, that's exactly the predicament I found myself in. It hurt too bad to stand and I had gone through all the other options. There is no masking that kind of pain with opioids, at least not without copious amounts of cocaine and alcohol. I don't condone it but I understand it. Anything to keep the machine working until you die early.

The Good Health Clinic took care of my back. They hooked me up with the same people that treat the Miami Heat. Unfortunately for me, they discovered arthritis as the major source of anguish. They did a shot in my spine which has helped for about two years now although I'm probably do for another one.

Then, at my age, it was time to see a plumbing specialist, a.k.a. Urologist, just for a checkup. I went to this doctor up in Miami, and he was more interested in solving my erectile dysfunction, issues and stuff. I was like, “OK, I'm getting stiff in all the wrong places these days anyhow.”

He described to me his idea of solving the problem which was to put an inflatable sack in my penis; it's not really inflatable, that's kind of a misnomer- it's a pump up pecker, but you're pumping fluid, not air. So it's not like a balloon. But it is these two bags that they install by cutting open the shaft, measure this material out, and then fit it in there, then they stitch it back together.

They install this little pump thing in your nut sack like a third testicle (ET- the extra testicle), and that's what you squeeze on to fill up the sacks whenever you want a boner… about six months recovery time after this procedure is done.

When they were evaluating my manhood, they being the doctor and his nurse, said words nobody else has ever said about my dick ever before. I've heard that it's cute, that it's nice, but never big, large or grande. That was my first clue.

After he determined I would be a perfect candidate, she insisted on giving me a penis pump because if you don't use it, you lose it and the penis shrinks with age and lack of use. Before you have boner surgery, you want it to be as stretched out as it can be. So, evidently pumping it up with a vacuum thing is good for maintaining size and circulation.

They were doing such a hard sell on me that I had to bring my wife with me to the second consultation. She told them that under no circumstances was she interested in me chasing her around the house with a pump up penis nor was she going to turn me loose on an unsuspecting public…besides that, I don't have the money to chase the young hotties around.

Maybe it wasn't exactly six months, but it might as well have been six years, because once they said, cut your penis open, I was like, “um, no, that's all right, man.”

I couldn't have stood it, I would have to be off work completely for at least six weeks, and couldn't have the dog sitting on my lap and stuff. Oh, my God, the baby grrr would not take that well at all.

But the point is, is if I would have chosen that option, the Good Health Clinic would have done that because sexual activity is critical to one's mental health. Well, at least it is to most people, anyway, I think. Or maybe it's just me.

Please support the Good Health Clinic because they really do fill a critical role in the communities health. For over 20 years the Good Health Clinic has served as a healthcare home for financially struggling, uninsured residents of the Florida Keys. 

They are proud to highlight that over 95% of resources are allocated directly to patient care and that every $1 donated provides $10 in medical care to those in need. ☮️ ❤️ 😊

Sitting down doesn't feel like rock 'n' roll