The Tooth Fairy

I don’t remember how old I was the morning my parents forgot to put a coin under my pillow for a baby tooth. I was still naive enough to believe in the tooth fairy. Why not? They told me all of these stories about Santa, Leprechauns, the Easter Bunny, ghosts, haunted houses, evil spirits, God and Jesus and all the associated fallen angels.

That morning, when I looked under my pillow and saw nothing, my prepubescent, virgin heart sank. I searched all around the bed, I had been forgotten. I must’ve done something wrong. Was it because I was snooping through stuff that wasn’t mine again?

I was visibly upset when I finally left the room I shared with my older brother. He was 10 and a half years older than me. At any rate, the old folks asked why I was beside myself. They got the “Oh shit! We forgot!” look and told me I must’ve not found it. I believed them out of desperation to cling to what I held to be as real and true as the sunrise, that life is fair and the tooth fairy always left a 50-cent piece for my tooth.

The folks got up to help me look for it. That’s when I saw my dad drop a quarter out of his hand while pretending to look under the mattress by lifting it out of its frame. The quarter rang off the terrazzo floor. My entire belief system collapsed. It wasn’t the quarter as much as the shattered trust at that age. My whole life (up to that point) was a LIE. How could these people who have fed and sheltered me just lie in my face?

It was all fun and games until I assumed the rest of it was bullshit also. No more big chocolate Easter Bunny, magical Santa flying around the world, Leprechauns at the end of the rainbow hiding their gold “BUT,” Mom said, "all those church stories are God’s word.”

The seeds of doubt had already been sown. They told the other stories with equal conviction and all my siblings played along, just like they go to church. And those church stories are just as far fetched as the Easter Bunny.

Santa and the Easter Bunny were the FUN part, now I’m told it was the serious, boring rituals that actually mattered. How droll the creator must be. It’s funny when the church accuses others of grooming when that is the sole purpose of Sunday school.

My mom was a blind believer. It wasn’t until my sister died at the age of 62 that my mom finally got mad enough to question God’s motives. It allowed me the opportunity to explain that a soul has a right to curse the entity responsible for its presence on a world like this. The bible is too big to explain the true nature of God. Too convoluted. God is simple; Love.

Mankind has enough to suffer without making it worse for each other. The nature of this world is to facilitate our demise. The reasons humans are evil towards each other escapes logic. Must be the absence of Love.